Midget sex pt 2 tonight
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
