I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize
