from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
