He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
