Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
