We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
