I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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