yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
