i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
