Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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