There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Randomize
