she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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