just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Who died my cat blue again?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
