You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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