you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
