It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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