READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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