i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
