Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I seem to have left my pride at pride
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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