Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
