So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
