does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Randomize
