I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
