I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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