roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
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