Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
