Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
