ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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