I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
