Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
