Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
