Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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