The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
