I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
