Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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