And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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