Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You don't make any sense
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