His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
