I didn't shave. On purpose
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
