Duck Duck Cougar?
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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