we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
