guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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