Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
