It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
