Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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