We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
