If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
