mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
