Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
