I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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