Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
